I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
