you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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