I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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