addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
