Your tits are I can't wait for
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
