i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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