oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
