We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
