Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
