on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
