he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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