is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
