I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize