i just had sex bonerless
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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