it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
