why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
