He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
