I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
