sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
