eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
