shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let's paint friendship bongs
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
