So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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