You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
