i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
