coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sorry about my life...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
