my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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