I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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