trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Still dying that you shit outside
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
