If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
