If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
