He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
