That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
