worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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