Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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