he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize