I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My vagina just recognized that song.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
