Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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