fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
