I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
