Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
