hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
