Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
