so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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