If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think i have herpe
just one?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize