i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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