just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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