South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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