She is in my trunk
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
