Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?

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(613): View more from Ontario

Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"

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(317): View more from Indiana

Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls

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(432): View more from Texas

To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway

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(203): View more from Connecticut

she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.

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(206): View more from Washington

Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite

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(905): View more from Ontario

ok thanks goodnight

(905): View more from Ontario

Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.

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