; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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