i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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