Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
