i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
