one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize