I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
