Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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