hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
