i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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