Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize