You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
