we made out on top of his cat.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
